Mother's Day Musings

by Zehorit Heilicher, Tastemaker in Residence

So, this may not be the Mother’s Day “Ra Ra” you might expect, but a bit of a challenge instead: Do we truly celebrate our relationships with our mothers, with our kids? Or do we just go through the motions? Do we make room for who our loved ones are, or are we too steeped in expectations?

“The only constant in life is change.” My father’s wise words have often been proven relevant as I maneuver through the changing phases of motherhood. The children, who have kept me up at night, threw up in my lap and crying, clung to me on the first day of school, have become independent, caring and intelligent adults. The last one will leave in the fall to begin her college experience and explore new paths, yet uncharted. More changes to come…

So, this Mother’s Day, I will have only one fourth of our circle physically present to celebrate our relationship and connection. Three of the four live on the West Coast, more than 3-hour flight away. They are young adults establishing lives, careers and fashioning their future. This phase is internal and self focused. Yes, they will call with lovely wishes and sentiments, possibly send a card and will honestly miss being together with me on this day. 

Yet, the phase we currently explore, more than ever before, is about boundaries, acceptance, challenge and deep connection in the face of diverging paths. There will be other phases that will hopefully include them establishing families, me creating new roles for myself, connecting in a new manner and deepening our love and understanding. But right now, it’s about letting go, about faith in what we have built and what we share. So, this Mother’s Day I am challenged to celebrate– not a person, or an individual. But to celebrate the relationship and the bond: the flexibility and resilience, the growth and the constant change. To be present for yet another phase.

Happy Mother’s Day to you and your loved ones!